[OOC] App post
Name: Screw
Series: Neji/Screw
Age: 15

Canon: Welcome to the year 2034. Artificial human sex toys, designer drugs funded by private companies, and cryogenic freezing are all a reality. An interesting side effect of the cryogenic sleep is that a number of those who have undergone the process wake up with psychic powers. The mysterious company GERA has in its possession a number of these "revenants." By erasing their memories and training them to use their newfound powers, GERA has developed an unstoppable team of assassins. At least, that's their intent. But sometimes there's a glitch in the process. Like Screw.

Screw is a teenage boy who was frozen in the early 90's. When he woke up in GERA's labs, it was with the concept of just being a single screw in the machine of life echoing through his head. Taking "Screw" as his name instead of GERA's assigned number, he eventually ends up regaining enough of the memory of his death to realize that everything they've told him is a lie. He proceeds to bust out of the facilities and attempt to make his own life on the streets. Despite being a psychic on the run in a world forty years in his future, Screw is actually a fairly down-to-earth guy--his experiences have forced him to be responsible and adult beyond his physical age of 15, and he's pretty skilled at using his powers to his benefit. However, covers this inner maturity with loudmouthed and sarcastic wisecracks, foul language, and a tendency to hit people when they piss him off. Oh, and he's not above exploding a few heads with his mind.

Sample Post:

In your own head, no one can hear you scream.

Or at least that's probably the assumption you operate under. No one can hear your innermost thoughts of "Oh my god, Becky, look at her butt." I hate to break it to you, but not only is her ass not actually that big, I can hear you. So turn that mental image filter back on, crank the volume down, and stop projecting so goddamn much. I've got enough problems just dealing with the freaking toucans without worrying about the fact that you've got your mental filesharing button switched to "on." Who the hell gives birds psychic powers and the ability to influence people's minds before turning 'em loose on an unsuspecting public?

Okay, I mean, aside from Kellogg's.

I'll be the first to admit that this usually isn't my kind of thing. But apparently you all need a little help with that "not being taken advantage of by Toucan Sam's less savory cousins" thing. A hint: when these guys tell you to follow their noses, think for a minute where their noses actually point to. Down, right? That "treasure" sure as hell isn't fruit-flavored. Unless you put a condom on it first.

I'll give you all a minute to process that.

So now that we're all on the same page, let's talk prevention. No one wants the birds part of "the birds and the bees" to become literal, right? So here's what you can do. It's a lot like that meditation and visualization crap those self-help books love. Except we're not gonna visualize descending a flight of stairs or anything. Partly because I'm pretty sure you all would trip down your mental staircase and break your mental ankle like some sort of self-realized damsel in distress. So we're not imagining that. No, we're picturing toucan brains. Exploding. This is your brain, and this is your brain once it's been Screwed.

... shut up, that was totally funny. Badass at the very least. You just don't have any taste, that's all. Fuckers.

--no, shit, I didn't mean that literally! Put that brain down! Oh, gross!

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